A lot of us don’t need to be converted, we just can’t be bothered to do anything about it

I get it. You’re rich as shit now. You spent US$1,000 back in May and now are basically a gazibillionaire. Those pedants screaming about bubbles, pyramid schemes and “can’t buy anything with it” are wrong. Nay! They are not wrong, they are fools. Fools I say!

Or, and this is the correct answer, they just don’t care.

I like Bitcoin, I see the value, I am rooting for the industry. I also refuse to invest out of stubbornness. A mule-headed idiocy single-handily created by a penchant from the crypto-community to gasconade about financial clairvoyance.

OK, that’s not entirely true, technically, as a reporter, it is unethical for me to invest in Bitcoin. While it sounds ridiculous, if I were a crypto-investor and wrote the headline “Donald Trump plans to fund 2020 campaign via Ether”, I could watch my magic go to work, cash out, and then tell everyone I am a genius investor.

So yeah, it is unethical. Why do you think the reporters that cover Wall Street hate their lives so much?

But that’s boring. Let’s get back to the fun argument.

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The point is, frankly, we get it. We know Bitcoin is the future, we know it was an all-time good bet and we know we should still probably get in at US$10,000.

We still aren’t going to do it. (Did you notice my subtle shift from “I” to “We” to make it clear I speak for “the people”?)

The talk around Bitcoin is a lot like a friend explaining that your current living situation could be a lot better. They know a better apartment, with cooler roommates, at a cheaper price. Yes, they are correct on every front.

But nobody ever moves and we all know why. Moving sucks.

The thought of buying Bitcoin is similar. I have to check how many Bitcoin I can afford, I have to ask around to find the best exchanges, I have to pull out cash from the bank account, I have to cry a little inside, I then have to navigate the security protocols, give the company my money, receive the Bitcoin, then I can gloat about my wise purchase.

THEN, if I want to get my money, I have to reverse the entire process. This all sounds exhausting.

I guess my unwillingness to put forth the effort makes me a sucker. Or it makes me a dude who, after work, prefers to watch baseball, refrain from farting in yoga class and look up the meaning of the word ‘gasconade’.

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But I get it. I really do. The Bitcoin community has been screaming for years and now (at long last!) the peasants finally understand. It is a giant opportunity to say, “I told you so”.

I can even empathise. I love baseball but every time I say, “I love baseball,” the response is “boring”, “long” or “confusing”. I then respond with, “Yeah, I know, but I promise, if you invest the energy and learn the rules, the sport has a beauty that is difficult to match.”

Sounds a lot like Bitcoin huh?

And yeah, if Mike Trout (I bet y’all don’t know who that is), suddenly skyrockets and achieves the global fame of LeBron James (bet you do know that name), I might be tempted to rub it in a little bit.

But, hopefully, I’ll remember this article and realise that everyone knows the beauty of baseball and are just too lazy to do anything about it. I will sit back, enjoy my newfound fame, smile a little bit and quietly go about my business.

Nah. That’s not going to happen. I’m totally gonna rub all of y’all faces in it.

 

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