Early April this year, leadership consultancy firm Zenger Folkman did a study on feedback practices. They discovered that, in fact, a great majority of leaders were “twice as likely” to give positive feedback (at times, sugarcoated feedback that can seem positive), instead of corrective or negative ones.
Which made sense: in another one of their studies, they found that employees actually want negative feedback despite it being undesirable. Negative feedback can highlight blind spots and show employees the way to improve.
The problem comes for the inverse.
Leaders are struggling to give feedback to their employees— but when the situation is reversed, the struggle is even bigger.
And that is understandable: for one, not many think of giving feedback to our managers and leaders. These people are our ‘superiors’ and for the most part, our jobs partly depend on their appraisals.
Two, it is difficult to approach the topic. For instance, if your leader implemented something that actually caused more trouble than good, it can be hard for many to tell him that straight in the face. Three, most of us avoid confrontation.
Also Read: 6 strategies to give valuable feedback that sticks
Why create an opportunity for conflict, when you can simply adapt?
However, there are always things we want to change. There are times where we want to speak up but we do not want to risk offending someone. It is a tricky situation to navigate but it should not be avoided. With emotional intelligence and tact, we can deliver our insight in the most constructive way possible.
Reputation matters
What bothers you may not bother another person— even if both of you are bothered by it, it might be less significant for them than for you. As you scan your workplace, you will most likely categorise people in two ways: those who complain constantly and those who rarely do.
Despite not complaining, these people are observant. They know what bothers them: they simply don’t talk about it.
While those who complain constantly, often go out of their way to make people aware of what bugged them. But typically, it only stays within their own circle, without having insofar a chance for their higher-ups to hear about it.
Problem is, the higher-ups know who are those people that complain constantly, even if they are not aware of the details.
Those who complain the least are always the most effective in giving upward feedback. These are the people that only talk about the bigger issues before going into the smaller annoyances and thus, their words carry more weight.
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It also the reason why there are loads of write-ups about how those who speak less are generally smarter.
Here’s what to do for both situations:
- If you’re a stoic and you rarely complain, your words already carry weight. What you need is an appropriate time and place to raise your concerns, with respect to your superior.
- If you’re a habitual complainer, you will have to be wary of your reputation. Talk about your problems less and write them down: that way, you can categorise which are the ones that deserve more priority. You can also think about possible solutions before going to your leader, which can help direct the conversation and reach a conclusion faster.
Ask for a separate meeting to raise issues
Managers are there for a specific reason: strategy. Unless their job scope covers running the ground, they are less likely to hear all the different complaints.
Few people take their complaints upwards as they want to make a positive impression on their superiors—things only change when there is visibility on new issues.
However, giving upward feedback should be dealt with tact.
Not every leader takes feedback well. Hence, your feedback delivery method depends on your knowledge of your manager. For instance, some managers don’t take criticism well and thus earn a reputation for being ‘prickly’. These are the nuances you need to take care of.
Apart from that, you should:
- Be mindful of priorities. Are your issues deserving of being in a team meeting agenda? Are they critical to the team or just to a select few? Raise your issues at the appropriate time. Can your manager afford the time during busy periods?
- Be empathetic. Just like how managers do not know everything about the employees, the reverse is also the same.
- Schedule separate meetings. One-on-ones work best here. If there are more stakeholders involved, bring the stakeholders into the meeting with the leader as well. Such meetings emphasise only on select issues—rather than waiting till the end of a meeting to share feedback, you can easily go through every necessary detail that could have been omitted if you were to be delayed.
Also Read: This IoT device sends instant feedback of a player’s performance to the coach when he is in action
Focus on your perspective and facts
Frame your feedback in the form of your perceptions rather think of what you would do if you were in your leader’s position. For a leader that is disconnected from the other employees, your perspective can be invaluable.
By doubling down on your perspective you are also realising the limitations of your standpoint. By being empathetic, you can avoid presuming what your leader is faced with.
Like all feedback, it should be honest and data-driven. Be as specific as possible: what is the problem that you want to change and what are the things that went wrong? Emphasise on how it affects you and other stakeholders but avoid speculating:
- Don’t state why you think this problem exists unless required. It is most likely that you have partial knowledge. Always seek to understand the whole picture rather than going straight in on one part. However, if your leader asks for a suggestion, be tactful about it.
- Remove assumptions. Rather than ascribe a motive to someone else and get them to be defensive, stick to the facts of the situation.
Also Read: This IoT device sends instant feedback of a player’s performance to the coach when he is in action
When your boss rejects you
It is difficult to predict how someone will react no matter how careful or thoughtful you are with delivering it. Sometimes, you might get bitten as your leader gets upset or defensive about it.
Rather than clamming up after a negative reaction, take this opportunity to dissect the situation. What are the things that went wrong and what can you learn from it? Going forward, you can improve on the way you deliver your feedback specifically to this manager. You can also understand what are the topics beyond his/her boundaries.
The health of any organisation, team or relationship is dependent on identifying and discussing problems. Healthy teams talk about problems freely. They speak up about issues and resolve in tandem with one another.
In contrast, unhealthy teams leave issues unspoken about, which leaves a host of performance problems and potential errors. Eventually, results and relationships will be eroded.
Feedback is never a one-way thing. Between managers and employees, there must always be feedback going back and forth to help everyone improve together. It is understandably tough: we are much more comfortable venting to one another than to give our feedback to our managers—why risk our livelihoods?
Holding our tongue is the reason for accountability gaps. For the gap to start closing, the best way we can do is to start with ourselves.
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First seen on Human+Business.
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