Your team needs conflict: 4 tips for leaders to manage conflict well

Conflict is common in the workplace—we are all individuals with different thoughts and opinions. We might disagree with someone’s idea. Sometimes, we fail to come to a consensus during a meeting. Other times, everyone has different opinions and there is no clear winner.

The idea of conflict in the workplace can seem exclusively negative; most people are non-confrontational and having conflicts can potentially ruin relationships. As such, the opposite is viewed as good. Yet, peace may not always be good. In reality, businesses are powered by an equilibrium of peace and conflict. At times, conflict is even encouraged.

Here is why: the focus is not on the conflict itself.

Undeniably, the image of conflict involves many inherently undesirable things. It comprises arguments, disagreements, and inevitable tensions. Then, there is the problem of the aftermath: are relationships going to be awkward? Will interactions remain the same after? Will it impact the team as a whole? As such, it is easier to remain a pacifist than to confront, even if it means having a terrible idea being put to execution.

In reality, the conflict itself is of a neutral nature.

Also Read: 2 conflicting perspectives on team meetings

Like many things, it is only made negative because of mishandling or poor management. For instance, you might use foul language during a moment of conflict. Another example could be a leader not giving the conflict a proper conclusion, causing relationships to sour due to poor decision-making. Every move—micro or macro—during a moment of conflict matters. It is the people, topics, language, actions, and management that cause a conflict to become something negative.

In reality, it is possible to have a positive conflict. In other words, a productive conflict. When a conflict is managed appropriately, it can create opportunities for people to innovate, allow chances to learn and give rise to innovation.

Though conventional wisdom has told us that conflict is bad for teamwork, numerous studies have suggested otherwise. A Korean study posited that conflict creates self-awareness amongst employees. A study by UC Berkeley suggested that conflict, dissent and competing views can stimulate creative thought.

In reality, these studies are unsurprising.

Conflict is born out of one thing: differences. These differences originate from competing views, beliefs, values and principles. You think that his idea is not feasible. He believes that your idea is based on incorrect data. Due to the disagreement, there is ensuing conflict.

A conflict managed well can lead to many benefits:

1. Differing opinions clashing with one another can result in an entirely new consensus

People are forced to collaborate and think creatively so as to arrive at a single conclusion.

2. More avenues are explored

For instance, a colleague might raise an issue that others may not have thought before. A colleague’s seemingly trivial statement might also be an indication of a deeper problem.

3. More alternative solutions can be surfaced

Rather than have only a few to work with, it’s more of a giant Venn diagram and seeing how everything fits and melds with one another. Identifying melding points can give rise to more suggestions.

Being born out of differences also meant that there is only one solution: consensus. He agrees that he is wrong about your data and now knows that some of his sources are less reliable. You believe that his idea is worth a shot, but needs more refining and time to look at. Due to the agreement, there is no more conflict.

In the aforementioned Korean study, conflict is suggested to create self-awareness.

How so?

It gives others the opportunity to understand deeper the differences between one another. For instance, after a debate with a colleague, you now know that he constantly used his method at his previous company and it gave him results. This gave you the conclusion that he might be quite a traditionalist. Due to that, he is less willing to experiment and try new things.

Think of conflict as an inflexion point; managing conflict can cause it to either become positive or negative. In any given situation, the conflict must be productive, but that can only be possible with the right management tactics and principles:

1. Conflict is never about the people, it is about the problem

We view a problem differently from one another. Hence, we might discover different solutions. Differing opinions can result in arguments and escalating tensions, but ultimately the conflict is always focusing on the problem. At no point is it about the people debating with one another.

2. It is never a power play

A productive conflict has no winner or loser, only consensus and a solution to the problem. It is also never about ego or pride. Those should be thrown out of the window.

3. A productive conflict focuses on delivering the best possible solution to the company or organization

It is never about proving who is right or wrong. Instead, it is about creating a solution that can actually solve the problem that the organization has.

4. Never suppress conflict and choose peace

Unaddressed disputes can escalate into deeper tensions, breed long-term resentment and eventually manifest themselves. For instance, you can be passive-aggressive. You can also be less productive than others. You might not want to work with the colleague that you despise.

Not confronting differences mean increased tension and thus changing the temperature of the room. Name the “elephant in the room”—two people not liking to work with each other? Tell them both about it. With increased awareness of others, people can become more productive. It also creates an opportunity for reconciliation and deeper understanding, thus forging stronger interpersonal relationships.

5. Cooperation begets competition and vice-versa

It is basic evolution: the environment of businesses and companies are inherently competitive. People compete for resources but compete to operate effectively.

Many leaders make the mistake of preventing, containing or resolving conflict. Though they have their own place, the more important challenge is to actually create opportunities for constructive debate. It is about raising difficult questions and discussing contentious issues.

Also Read: 10 signals that you can be a trusted business leader

It is unsurprising why people actively avoid conflict—it is uncomfortable. Our minds can only take so much and we’d much prefer a peaceful day than to go bed thinking about what you could have said at that moment.

Leaders do not have that luxury and instead, disagreement should be fostered. Rather than allow it to fester by itself, leaders must take the first step to promote a constructive conflict resolution process.

1. Build and promote a positive attitude

It is okay to tackle issues head-on but it must be done constructively. Steer the conversation away from a heated argument if it is turning out to be one. Rather than allow the argument to unfold by itself, take it by the reins and ask for facts than feelings, for instance:

1.What are their individual views?

2.What is causing the disagreements? Why does Person A disagree with Person B (and vice-versa)?

Validation is important. Give both opinions their own space to breathe in and allow them to come together smoothly. Rather than go straight into proving who’s right, encourage team members to take a step back and review both opinions holistically. Though there are times where someone’s opinion will ‘prevail’, it is still important to treat every thought equally.

2. Identify and address problems arising from the conflict

Conflict can create a lot of unwanted actions and behaviours. For instance, people might become passive-aggressive. Others might choose to be destructive and leave the argument as it is without closure.

At times, not everything can be resolved peacefully at the meeting table. Rather press for a resolution, allow time for parties to breathe before speaking to them individually—or better, together at the same time.

3. Respect individual differences

How will a leader treat the aftermath of conflict? It is in respect of individual personality traits and values. For instance, some colleagues can argue with each other and go back to normal the next day.

Others might have grudges and thus require a sounding board. The important part is to keep different personalities in mind: in the end, if differences can create conflict, differences can also create solutions.

4. Always nurture relationships

When leaders neglect to nurture relationships, they can become casualties. After an argument, there must be an effort made to maintain a healthy relationship and conflict-free interaction.

Rather than avoid conflict, leaders should foster an environment of experimentation and innovation. Conflicts should be treated as opportunities to explore rather than a possibility of relationship casualty.

Definitely, this is difficult in application. Not everyone likes to be proven wrong and competitive environments do not exactly foster a positive, outcome-focused attitude. Sometimes, it really is about the survival of the fittest.

Hence, leaders need to take the first step and detoxify conflict. Instead of the means, there should be a focus on the end: what is that will benefit the company the most and how can everyone’s opinions come together and create that? After all, everyone is here to work for the business and the reality is that the company only wants the best solution, not whether someone is right or not.

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Image Credit: Arisa Chattasa